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Saturday, December 15, 2012

I'm so mad, I could spit nails!!

This doesn't have anything to do with my fighting breast cancer, but it does have to do with my survival. I've learned to be a fighter, thanks to my recent diagnosis, and the fighter has come out in full force as a result of yesterday's elementary school massacre!! The kid gloves are OFF!!

I posted a Note on Facebook, this afternoon...and decided to share it with you. Please forgive me, while I rant...

"Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death!" ~ Patrick Henry

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

The Scripture I gave you is in reference to farming not-so-productive crops; but, in this day and age, it applies to our society on SOOOO many levels! Here, let me show you…

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . . ." the 1st Amendment of the US Constitution

Congress shall make NO law...prohibiting the free exercise of religion. And yet, Congress as passed laws that say Christians are not allowed to pray, or read their Bibles, in any other building except a church building!! Sounds like THEY broke their OWN RULES!!

"Separation of church and state" is NOWHERE in the Constitution...it was a statement made by Thomas Jefferson, in a letter he wrote! He said, "I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church & State."

What the 1st Amendment was originally intended for was to keep the government from setting up a Church State…an official “one world” belief system… a government funded, government sponsored, “if you don’t believe the way we tell you to, you’ll go to jail” belief system. It was never intended to be a battering ram for the US government to use, to stop religion from being practiced, in public places. And yet, we let them do that to us!!

Our beloved government has used the term “Separation of Church and State” to ban the practice of Christianity in everyday life; thus, “prohibiting the free exercise thereof”, which is NOT what the 1st Amendment was for!!! Before God was kicked out of school, the Bible was used as an every day TEXT BOOK, right along side a child's History book, and Math book!

Now, I’m not saying you don’t have the right to practice your religion…you absolutely do! You also have the right to not practice any religion...this country is called "The Great Melting Pot" because of its diversity! But NONE of us have the right to get offended at anyone, for practicing their religion!! That would be “prohibiting the free exercise thereof”…which would make the offended person no better than the lawmakers who changed the rules!! Granted, the religion that was practiced, when the Constitution was penned out, was Christianity; but the 1st Amendment now applies to other religions, practiced in the USA, too!

Speaking of the establishment of a Church State…have you noticed that more and more school districts are beginning to teach that Allah is the Almighty God (it started in Texas, from what I hear). They’re also banning more and more culture from our children’s lives…book banning, printing “revised” editions of History books (they’re revised so that no one learns REAL history). Don’t believe me?? Take a History book from your parent’s generation, and one from your child’s generation, and compare them…you’ll see!!

Cultural dummies are what we’ve become! What "great works of literature" were children required to read, as part of their curriculum, back in the 1940s? Most books that have been banned since that decade were done so because of sexual content, foul language, racist remarks, or violence. How many movies have you, or your children, seen that contain any of those elements?? Why is it ok to watch those elements unfold within the context of a movie, but reading about them within the context of a book is not??

Judy Blume once said "Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won't have as much censorship because we won't have as much fear."

We have become a society that allows our government to decide what’s not acceptable for our children, and for us. We’ve stopped being parents; we’ve also stopped being citizens!! Eventually, we’ll all stop being free, as well. Look up the definition for the word “tyranny”.

The government has never stripped this country of it’s rights, all at once…they’ve done it little by little, masking it as something necessary for the common good of all. And, we’ve fallen for it, EVERY time!! And, until we WAKE UP…we will continue to agree with our government officials that “this isn’t fair”, “that’s a violation”, and “thus-n-so is offensive”.

Back in the day, if you were offended by me, for any reason at all, you were told to shut up and deal with it…now-a-days, if you’re offended by me, for any reason at all, it’s my responsibility to change who I am, so you’ll feel more comfortable around me. Being offended has become a civil liberty…WHAT???? (refer back to my previous statements on the 1st Amendment)

I’ve also noticed, as a result of the elementary school massacre, yesterday, there are a LOT of people insisting that the government take away our right to bare arms (I’ve been watching the President’s Facebook page). Ok, I don’t know about you, but I’m sure the criminals of this country would just give up and surrender their firearms, if they were told it’s illegal to own them (note the sarcasm, please). C’mon folks, get real please! If our government makes it illegal to own any sort of firearm, in this country, all of us law-abiding citizens will be left defenseless against the citizens who have no regard for the law!!

Certain drugs are illegal, and yet they’re sold on the black market, every day!! Human trafficking is illegal…but it still happens!! Murder, robbery, rape, extortion, etc are all illegal…and yet, crime is a sad and unfortunate reality! Criminals DON’T obey laws!!! What will end, or at least curb, crime in this country are harsher punishments for the criminals, and more freedom for us to defend ourselves against them!!

When it was the “norm” to defend yourself against criminals, there were fewer of them. Now that they can sue you, or call the cops on you, for defending yourself against them…they’re EVERYWHERE!! And they have more rights, under the law, than we do!! Our government sees to it that criminals are pampered, while in jail. Isn’t a jail sentence supposed to be a punishment??

Now, don’t get me wrong! I’m all for “innocent until proven guilty”, but for all those who on death row…if they haven’t proven their innocence within the course of the first 10 years, they are obviously guilty!! The government needs to stop wasting taxpayer money, keeping death row inmates comfortable, and alive!! They’ve been sentenced to death…NOT “life in prison”!!

A man by the name of Ronald Post killed a female motel clerk almost 30 years ago…he confessed to it, too. He was put on death row, and is now fighting his execution (set for 1/16/13). His claim is that being executed would be “cruel and unusual punishment” due to his weighing around 450 lbs. He gained 200 lbs, while on death row, and cited that he might break the death chamber gurney, or that his executioners might not be able to find his veins, for the lethal injection. Wait…he’s asking for compassion and leniency??? Where was HIS compassion, when he decided to kill that woman??

Do you see? We’ve been reaping what we’ve been sowing, through the years; and the only way to heal our land (our country) is to do what God says in 2 Chronicles 7:14. The moral fiber of this once great country has decayed almost beyond recognition. Criminals, and society in general, have been allowed to abuse the system ever since our government decided that fair wasn’t really fair, and changed the rules! The squeaky wheel gets the grease, people!! If we want to get back to practicing our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, where good “old fashioned” morals are the norm, WE have to start getting louder!!!

Who’s with me???

Monday, December 10, 2012

Update on Progress

I've had a couple "update" appointments with my Oncologist, recently...things are progressing quite well!

My first update was a full-body bone scan; had to do that, because my spine was full of tumors, so he wanted to see if any of them were gone, yet. The second update was a CT Scan, to see if any vital organs were affected, and to check the size of the mass in my left breast, as well as the size of my lymph nodes in my left armpit.

Results of the bone scan - I have a touch of arthritis in my knees, hips and shoulders; and most of the tumors down my spine are either gone, or significantly reduced in size. One of them has become larger, but my Oncologist doesn't seem too concerned about that, just yet.

Results of the CT Scan - I have a few cysts in my woman parts and my liver (not to worry, he says), and I have a few gallstones (also no worries, at this time). None of my vital organs were damaged, nor are they showing any signs of tumors! Yay!! And, my lymph nodes in my left armpit have significantly reduced in size, and so has the mass in my left breast!! Praise God, it's ALMOST gone!! I am continuing to stand on Scripture for my healing!!

So...what's the game plan now?? Continue taking Tamoxifen (once a day), eating properly (loads of fresh veggies and fruit, not so much processed stuff...and NO soy!!), and exercising (Physical Therapy - 3 times a week).

I love my life!!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Transformation - Originally posted on July 22, 2012

I shared this with my Facebook friends, shortly after being diagnosed...it's my story, from another angle. I called it "Transformation"...

"As all of you know, by now, I'm dealing with a diagnosis of Stage 4 Breast Cancer; this is the terminal stage. I hate that word...terminal. Life, itself, is terminal; the day we were born, we begin to die! Some of us have been dying longer than others, but we're all dying. And, yes, it is a shame that diseases such as cancer have the potential to speed up that process.

Now, don't freak out....I'm not on my death bed! I'm stronger, now, than I was before being told I even had cancer! And I will fight with everything I am to beat this disease! I am determined to lean on the Lord for my strength, courage, and determination, so that the next 50 years of my life are God-glorifying and personally satisfying! The Bible say that God promises us a
long and satisfying life....well, at the age of 42, I'm certainly NOT satisfied!!

I wanted to talk to you about the journey that brought me to this point, in my life....is that ok? I grew up learning how to do things "my way", because no one else would show me any better way. I've made gastronomically huge mistakes, which altered the lives of those I love (sorry kids!), and I became a rebellious, "devil may care" person....especially with my health. Throughout my life, I've been told to watch what I eat; my Dad was a
Diabetic, and passed away when I was only 13 years old. But I didn't care...I was going to do as I pleased, and eat as I pleased. I was young....what was I going to die from???

On into my adult years, I continued to do/say/eat as I pleased. At my heaviest, I weighed nearly 300 lbs! Large pizza's with tons of toppings all to myself, gallons of ice cream, snack cakes at various times of the day (every day), convenience foods (microwave meals, etc) and fast food were my staples...I didn't care what I ate, I just ate it! And I was really not a fan of exercise, so I played the martyr and did just enough to impress anyone who might have been watching me.

Even after giving my life to the Lord, I still held on to the idea that
my way of doing things was good enough. God would lay something on my heart, and I would only do it until I was ok with the outcome....or until someone praised my efforts. No consistency in my obedience to Him, at all!

He would unction me to fast....no meat, no dairy, and no processed grains. Ok....but for how long? I always chose the time frame, so God was constantly bringing me back to it, time and time again. I even asked Him if He was trying to get me to do this as an every-day lifestyle....the answer was "yes!", and I promised to get to it, eventually.

This was not the only area where my way seemed do-able.....personal life, finances, etc. You name it, I did it leaning on my own understanding; Proverbs 3:5-6 cautions against that...we're supposed to trust that God knows what's best.

As a result of my decisions, I have been through some serious life-altering experiences, for the last few months. I can't count how many times I've heard, "now, don't blame yourself...you didn't cause this".

Actually, folks....I DID cause this to happen, because I neglected myself for so many years. But, I'm not depressed about it, and I'm not beating myself up about it....I'm accepting responsibility for what I caused, and I'm doing what's necessary to fix it. Including a sincere and desperate moment of repentance!

I apologized to God from the very depth of my soul, because I had neglected the upkeep of His temple (my body).
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us that we are the Temple of the Holy Spirit,and no longer belong to ourselves...but to God.

Everything that I did, while leaning on my own understanding and not trusting God, proved that I still believed I belonged to myself. I'm so thankful that He's such a patient and forgiving Father!! LOL! I think I'd be miserable if He wasn't!

And so, here I am....no job, no finances, nowhere to call home (thanks Kim and Deborah Ochsenbein...(my brother-in-law & sister) for letting me stay with you, for the time being!), etc. I've likened my current situation to that of
Job's hardships....he lost everything, too. His health was even in question for a while....but he never stopped praising God. When Job's hardships were over, God restored him and blessed him with double what he had lost, in terms of homes, finances, family, etc.

Each and every day that I am blessed to wake up, I will praise the Name of the Lord! I survived cancer, last night....I'm awake, and alive! Hallelujah!! Praise God!!

Thanks for letting me share this with you!"



And thanks for reading it, here!!

My First Blog

Whew! I feel like I'm staring in a Broadway play, and it's opening night! What do I say?? I forgot my lines!! I'm a little nervous....breathe, you can do this!! LOL!!

I've been on an interesting journey, for the past five months...surviving Stage IV Breast Cancer! I've been posting Notes on Facebook, but I've decided I want to take my journey to the public...someone needs to know what I'm facing!! Someone out there is going through something similar, and I'm hoping my struggles and triumphs will help them! So, here we go.....

Let me back up for a minute, and catch you up to speed here....

When I turned 40 (two years ago), my body began to show signs of "decay", if you will. My immune system tanked, and I caught every germ that passed my way (I hadn't been sick in almost a decade, until then); I began to experience aches and pains in places I didn't realize I had, my energy level dropped....and the shape of my left breast began to change. I also noticed it felt different right above my nipple, although I wasn't really adamant about the self-exam routine, so I didn't keep up on it. My feet, ankles and legs began to retain water, as well...which made walking around a bit difficult, sometimes. I had always been told that when you turn 40, your body, and your health, start going "down hill", so I just chalked all of this up to becoming middle-aged.

Within the course of the next two years, I began to lose the ability to walk. My balance was hindered, my mobility was weakened, and my lower back and hips hurt so badly when I tried to push through and force myself to move. I was a mess!! Couldn't stay awake to save my life, became more and more dependent on others for my basic needs, because it hurt too much to get up and do for myself...I needed help!!

I had a couple ER visits in June (2012) that, by way of x-rays and such, discovered something wrong in the lumbar region of my back...further testing and more x-rays, the following month (July 3, 2012) revealed a few tumors climbing up my spine. One of those tumors had all but destroyed my 5th lumbar vertebrae! The initial diagnosis was Multiple Myeloma, and I was sent to another hospital that was better equipped to take care of cancer patients. Cancer????

My youngest daughter was with me, when the first doctor said the word "tumor". I can't flip out...she's doing enough of that for both of us!! I have to stay strong...I have to make this seem like it's not as big of a deal as the doctor's say it is. I tell her, "there just a few blobs, honey...no big deal! I'll be fine!!" But will I be??? Too many questions to number hit my thought process, all at once; it gave me a headache! I have to be ok, my kids still need me!! On to the next hospital!

Final diagnosis, et al, came from the doctors at Akron General Medical Center. They were BRILLIANT!! I love my team of doctors, and I praise God for placing them in my life for such a time as this! Ok...more tests....more x-rays...more questions filling my head. I met so many caring faces, I had to write down most of the names, so I'd remember who it was that was talking to me. My Oncologist was the one who broke the news to me...it was Stage IV Breast Cancer. There is a huge mass in my left breast, and it metastasized into my lymph nodes and down my entire spine. He said, "so, this is what you're going to die from, when you die."....uuuhhhhhh, NOT!! Sorry, Doc, I'm not buying that story!!

I had two Surgeons visit me to discuss the tumors in my spine. I was going to need major surgery, and it looked like they were going to have to remove that vertebrae....it's too far gone to save. I am now the proud owner of a thing called a "cage"; I also found out that I have six lumbar vertebrae...you're only supposed to have five! My fourth and sixth lumbar vertebrae are now fused, by way of this cage the Surgeon placed in me. A few days after surgery, I had my first mammogram, and a biopsy that I got to watch! That was cool!!

To re-gain my mobility, after the surgery, I was moved to Edwin Shaw Rehab Facility...one of Akron General's best facilities for people like me! I only had to stay for a week, before they were confident enough to release me!!

Recovering from major back surgery has been a test of the will, though! My body doesn't like me, anymore, and frequently protests when I push myself to get better, or stronger. Yes...I'm still recovering! However, on a positive note...I'm getting stronger, and more able, every day!

From the beginning of August, to the end of October, I underwent Chemotherapy. I was given a drug called Taxol (as well as fluids and a small list of "preventative measure" meds), which I was told is the "go-to" drug for treating Breast Cancer. No horror story to tell you, there...but I did lose most of my hair.

The biggest problem I had was lack of energy; I couldn't function like a normal person. No matter how much, or how little, sleep I got...it was never enough! But...I didn't lose my appetite, I never got nausious, and I never got sick to my stomach! To this day, my sister says I'm the only person she knows who can gain weight, while on Chemo! LOL!! She's right though....at the Cancer Center, I was told not to worry about calories, or portion control, "just eat!!". So....I did, and I gained 23 lbs, in three months!!

I've also been taking a pill called Tamoxifen, which is an anti-estrogen hormone thereapy drug. The type of breast cancer I have is known as "estrogen receptive". It's the most common form of breast cancer there is, so it's easily treatable. At my last visit to my Oncologist, I was given some GREAT news!! The "blobs" are almost gone!! He says we're going to keep taking the pill, to see if that does the trick, but if not...there are other treatments we can explore.

So, now that you're up to speed....I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me!