Je suit Paris

This is not food-related, nor is it about my battle with breast cancer...but, it is about survival.

This morning, as I read the latest news about last night’s terrorist attacks in Paris, I couldn’t stop the tears; I’m furious, heart-broken, and confused all at once. I’m all for this solidarity movement, and supporting/praying for the victims and survivors of Paris; they need our prayers and support, at this time!  What happened in Paris, last night, is a senseless tragedy…plain and simple!

But, I’ve also heard a lot of people blame the Syrian refugees for the attacks; and there is some validity to that. Now, before I get lynch-mobbed for jumping on the victim-blaming band wagon, please hear me out....

The radical Islamic terrorists, who committed that atrocity last night, are thinking along that line, as well; wherever the Syrians seek asylum, the terrorists will follow, because the Syrians have been unfairly marked for destruction. Therefore, it’s disturbingly logical to assume that the reason behind the attack is because Paris is harboring refugees (please don’t stop being compassionate toward those who are less fortunate). How many other countries are now on the terrorist’s hit list?? We’re supposed to be protecting the refugees from their attackers…but, in order to protect them, we need to protect ourselves, as well!!

How much more destruction are we going to allow these radical terrorists to inflict on the world, before we put an end to their agenda?? Isn’t that why our troops are stationed in the Middle East?? What’s going on??

Just to clarify….I am in no way, shape, or form blaming the Syrian refugees for any terrorist attack, brought on by their plight; I know it’s NOT their fault! But, if that’s the way you want to think, you might as well teach yourself to believe that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust; or, for that matter, the way they were treated in Egypt, during the time of Moses. And what about Jesus; is He to blame for the way He was treated?? Seriously???

NEWS FLASH: NO victim is to be blamed for the abuse and terror they endure!!! It’s NEVER the victim’s fault!!

But, I digress….this “War on Terror” has only served to make matters worse (thanks for nothing, W)! What is the world going to do to STOP anyone else from being terrorized by ISIS/Al Qaeda/IS (or whatever they want to call themselves)??

I’m a very passive person, and don’t believe in killing anyone, for any reason…but why aren’t these terrorists being brought to justice??? It’s not like we don’t know who they are….when are we going to stand up to them, as a human race (the entire world coming together as one people) and STOP them from hurting the rest of us??

Bringing on World War 3 is NOT the answer...that will only serve to end the lives of more people!! But, when is enough going to be enough?? I don’t know about you….but I’m sick of hearing about all the damage and destruction these radical terrorists have inflicted!!

Can we PLEASE just be decent human beings, for once???

URGENT MESSAGE...PLEASE READ!!!

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32 (NLT)

This Blog highlights a few points that I've learned upon watching the docu-series, The Truth about Cancer: A Global Quest. I thought I had learned a lot, since beginning my own cancer journey...but this docu-series blew my mind!! Let me share some of what I've learned...

1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will get cancer, sometime in their life. Ok...wait; half of the male population, and 1/3 of the female population...of the world...will get cancer?? That's insane!!

Mainstream medicine is only given 1 hour of education on nutrition. The word “doctor” actually means…teacher.

“One of the first duties of a physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.”  ~ William Osler (one of the founding professors of Johns Hopkins Medical Center)

Mainstream medical professionals, today, get taught to prescribe medications…not to educate their patients on ways to keep themselves healthy.

Over a century ago the Carnegie and Rockefeller foundations engineered the curriculum of medical schools through grants and donations (The Flexner Report – 1910). When the money is coming from a source which has a vested interest in the outcome, the outcome will be what the donor wants it to be.

There used to be homeopathic medical schools, as well as conventional medical schools, about a century ago; but, the Carnegie's and the Rockefeller's were interested in establishing a “one size fits all” system. The natural health colleges weren’t putting enough emphasis on patented drugs and pharmaceuticals, which were being manufactured by Big Pharma; and, all Big Pharma companies are funded by the Carnegie and Rockefeller corporations. Do you smell a rat??

They convinced the American Medical Association to begin shutting down those colleges; and as soon as the AMA began to target the homeopathic colleges, the Carnegie and Rockefeller corporations began to shower billions of dollars on the colleges that taught drug-intensive curriculum. Upon distributing those generous donations, these corporations would place staff members on the college’s Boards of Directors to assure that their donations were being used “properly”; these new members continued to be on the payroll of those corporations, as well.

Unfortunately, money talks quite loudly. Once the new Board Members were in place, the curriculum that was being taught was drastically shifted in the direction of pharmaceuticals….no more lessons on the health and well-being of the patient. And the colleges/universities that were given the highest donations turned out the most highly recognized doctors. This is not a coincidence, folks.

By 1925, over 10,000 herbalists were out of business. By 1940, over 1,500 chiropractors would be prosecuted…the charge was practicing quackery. The 22 homeopathic practitioners in 1900, dwindled down to just 2, by 1923. By 1950, all the schools teaching homeopathy were closed. And it was well-known that if a physician did not graduate from a Flexner-approved medical school, they couldn’t find a job…anywhere.

Most mainstream doctors today don’t realize that the medical school they graduated from is nothing more than Big Pharma’s lap dog…because they don’t understand this history; it's conveniently left out of the curriculum. Now, the only approved treatments are those that are created by Big Pharma; if anyone tries to find alternative treatments, their insurance companies deny them coverage.

Disease is nothing more than a marketplace, and the present day healthcare industry was built on that one, simple premise. The success of this business model hinges solely on the continuation and spreading of present day diseases, and the creation of new ones. Without those two directions, the medical establishment would go belly-up.

In 1913, the American Medical Association developed an internal department that they called the “propaganda department”; its main goal was to eliminate quacks…which was anyone who didn’t line up with Big Pharma’s agenda. What is “quackery”, anyway??

George Washington died as a result of blood-letting, which was an approved treatment back in that day. Ignaz Semmelweis (July 1, 1818 – August 13, 1865) was the first person to suggest that doctors wash their hands before performing surgery; he was labeled a quack, ridiculed by his colleagues (they considered his findings improbable and unscientific), and eventually went mad! Now, hand washing is standard protocol for surgeons.

And, nowadays, any doctor who does not prescribe chemotherapy to a cancer patient is also considered a quack.

Chemotherapy was first discovered in the early 1940s because in Italy, nitrogen mustard gas was dropped from aircraft to destroy the enemy; during autopsies, it was discovered that the lymphocytes of those men were drastically decreased. Someone then got the bright idea to create a synthetic drug that acts much the same way as the mustard gas, to treat cancer patients.

Did you know that 90% of Oncologists today would never prescribe any chemotherapy drug for their own families, or for themselves? But, they’ll jump at the chance to prescribe it for us.

In 1971, President Nixon declared a war on cancer; but we’re not any closer to winning that war now, than we were back then. One of the reasons this war continues is because of the money that can be made by Big Pharma; chemo drugs not only kill cancer cells, they kill healthy cells as well. This makes recovery that much more difficult, resulting in the prescribing of more drugs and more chemo, as the patient lives on. Most cancer patients die from chemotherapy poisoning, before their cancer can kill them. And most chemo drugs CAUSE cancer, in other parts of the body.

Tamoxifen is the #1 drug prescribed to women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer; it has been labeled a carcinogen by the WorldHealth Organization and the American Cancer Society. Nobody ever talks about that, before prescribing it; I only found out, after I began taking it…I did some homework.

By 2020, more than half of all cancer cases will be medically induced, because of drugs or radiation. That means that the medical establishment, itself, will soon become the leading cause of cancer in America.

Cancer doesn’t kill…the complications from it are what kills people. Liver failure, sepsis, kidney failure, pneumonia, etc. will be what kills the cancer patient…and only after that patient is exposed to chemo and radiation treatments.

About 97% of patients who are given chemo die within 5 years, says the 2004 edition of The Journal of Oncology. Chemo is NOT your only chance…that’s a lie!!

The folks who blend the chemotherapy drugs have to wear what resembles a HazMat suit, because the chemicals they're handling are TOXIC!! Why do we allow them to put that stuff inside us, if they’re not even allowed to come in contact with it, while they mix it up??

Hippocrates said this....

He's known as the founder of medicine; Hippocratic medicine treated the patient, and not just the disease. Today, that's known as Functional Medicine.

The Truth about Cancer: A Global Quest discusses several methods of Functional Medicine in treating and beating cancer.

I’ve learned SO much, thanks to this docu-series! We’ve all been lied to, at the expense of our health; it’s time to learn the truth!!

This docu-series is full of survivor stories, and information from experts who are aware of the truth. These experts are putting their careers on the line to bring the truth out into the open; some of them are even risking losing their license to practice medicine, just so everyone can learn the truth.

Here is the link to purchase this docu-series; trust me, it's an investment you won't regret making!!

If you'd like to own the Extended Edition, click here.

Please consider purchasing this docu-series...every one of us deserves to know the truth! It's time to take the bull by the horns are eliminate cancer, once and for all!!

Raise Awareness by Taking Off Your Bra…Are You Kidding Me??

It’s been declared that today is National #NoBraDay…it’s supposed to be a Breast Cancer Awareness thing; personally, I think it’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard!!

Breast Cancer (or any cancer) is NOT a fashion statement!! It’s not a trend, a social club, or a badge of honor, either…IT’S A DISEASE, AND ITS JOB IS TO KILL YOU!!

This, my friends, is awareness.....

Mastectomy scar on a man. Yes, they can get breast cancer, too!

Mastectomy scar on a woman...complete with drainage tube.

Chemotherapy feels a lot less peaceful than this looks.

The Breast Self Exam...DO IT!!

Symptoms of Breast Cancer

It is my opinion that the focus needs to shift from awareness, to prevention and curing those who have it. Only about 5% to 10% of breast cancer diagnoses are thought to be hereditary, caused by abnormal genes passed from parent to child; the rest were preventable!

To prevent breast (or any other) cancer, do the following:

• If you smoke…stop!!
• Eat more raw, organic whole foods like fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds and whole grains; cut down on your consumption of meat and dairy
• Exercise several times a week, every week
• Limit your intake of alcohol
• Stop eating processed foods and junk/fast food
• No more canned foods, convenience foods, chips, snack cakes, etc.
• No more trips to Burger King, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, etc.
• Use natural skin/hair care products
• Most OTC products contain endocrine-disrupting chemicals
• DIY your cleaning products, to reduce exposure to chemicals
• Switch to glass food storage containers
• Even the BPA-free stuff is made with toxic chemicals
• Use natural sunscreens (read the ingredient lists!)
• You can also go DIY. Here’s a recipe from Wellness Mama

Taking off your bra for the day is not going to bring awareness to anything, other than the fact that you’re not wearing your bra. Put it back on!

If you really want to raise awareness…share this Blog post!! I’ve been in a battle for my life, for the last three years; I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, in July 2012.

Here's a link to the beginning of my journey. Happy reading, and have a blessed day!!

Go and Sin No More (not health related)

I’ve been quietly following the Kim Davis story, and I applaud her for standing up for what she believes in….but, she’s doing it wrong.

As a Believer, she is to abstain from sin (all Believers should)…here’s a small list of what she’s not supposed to do:

• Steal
• Murder
• Engage in immoral sexual acts
• Be a homosexual
• Be a prostitute
• Worship idols
• Be greedy
• Take the Lord’s name in vain
• Dishonor her parents
• Curse, or speak in a hateful or tasteless manner
• Lie, commit slander, be a hypocrite, gossip, etc.
• Want anything that belongs to someone else
• Get drunk in public
• Brag about your own accomplishments (self-importance) 

She’s also not supposed to be divorced, except in matters of infidelity (either spouse); or commit adultery, herself, which she has done. However, she has only been a Christian for four years; until then, she was of the world, and the rules of Christian life didn’t apply to her….now she is in the world, but not of it, and they all apply. More on that, later.

Kim believes she’s doing God proud by denying a same-sex marriage license, because the Bible states that homosexuality is a sin. However, it is only a sin to those who believe it to be so….the rest of the world doesn’t count. Therefore, it is up to her, as far as her beliefs take her, to not commit that sin, herself; she does not have the right to impose her religious beliefs on those who don’t share them….none of us have that right! And, the couple she denied the marriage license to aren’t going to break up, just because they couldn’t get the license…they will continue with their relationship, despite being denied their legal right to marry.

Here’s how Kim Davis should’ve handled that situation…according to the Bible.

Romans 13:1-3 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. (NLT)

The governing authorities of the United States have declared that same-sex couples have the right to be married, if they so choose. Kim Davis rebelled against God, in this matter, when she denied that couple their marriage license. And, she’s soaking up the limelight that decision has afforded her.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m not standing in judgment over her; that’s not my place! But, if you’re going to obey God’s Law, you need to obey it completely; which brings me to this point:

Deuteronomy 17:12 Anyone arrogant enough to reject the verdict of the judge or of the priest who represents the Lord your God must die. In this way you will purge the evil from Israel. (NLT)

So….according to Biblical law, Kim Davis should be put to death for rebelling against God, when she refused to submit to the governing authorities of the land. Who’s gonna be her executioner?? (FYI: I'm not suggesting that someone should kill her)

Kim Davis is standing in judgement over same-sex couples; by denying them their marriage licenses, she’s telling them that she is god and she will decide their lives for them. That’s not her place. She’s supposed to do the job she was hired to do….as a Christian, she’s also supposed to pray for people she believes are in sin; she should be praying for God to come into their lives and open their eyes, so that they can turn away from that sin.

I wonder if she’s even thought of that…or is she too busy, being the current “media darling”, to notice where she’s gone wrong?

Another thing about this whole story that irks me, is all these memes of her that cite how much of a hypocrite she is….like this one:

Do your homework, before you call her a hypocrite!! All of those things happened prior to giving her life to Christ….they don’t count, anymore! The only things that count, as she lives her Christian life, are the things she’s been doing in the last four years, and beyond.

When a person gets saved, the life they lived before giving themselves to Christ is washed away…it no longer matters. What God judges us on is how we walk the walk, after declaring Him Lord and Savior of our lives.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. (CEV)

The sins she commits as a Believer, are the only ones God will hold against her…unless she repents, and turns away from them. This is what I’ll be praying for!

Anyone want to add their two cents in? I welcome all input….and I wish you all a blessed day!!

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

No, this isn't a Blog about the Peanuts Halloween special; although, I am looking forward to watching that, on Halloween (tradition!). But, it is officially pumpkin season, here in the United States, and I'm excited!!

I love Charlie Brown...I love Fall....and I love pumpkins!! Pumpkins are amazing; they're nutritious, delicious and totally versatile!

Here's a brief run-down of just how awesome pumpkins are...

Check out all these amazing benefits!!

Did you see that?? So much goodness to improve your health! And, I love fact sheets...especially the ones that come with recipes; I can't wait to try that smoothie recipe!! LOL!

Some other things I've learned about the wonder that is a pumpkin are as follows:

• Eating pumpkins reduces the risk of gastric, breast, lung and colorectal cancer, regardless of family history.
• Eating pumpkins reduces breast cancer risk, in both pre-menopausal and post-menopausal women.
• Cucurbitacin E, a compound found in pumpkins, has been shown to inhibit triple-negative breast cancer metastasis in the lab, by suppressing cell migration and invasion.
• Pumpkins contain hypoglycemic substances that may improve diabetes.
• Intake of orange and yellow vegetables (like pumpkins) may also be protective against prostate cancer and non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I, personally, love eating pumpkins/pumpkin seeds...and I totally wish they had a longer harvesting season. I made sure to collect a few recipes, recently, so I'll have plenty of variety when it comes time to grub on some yumminess!!

Here, let me share them with you:

Pumpkin and Black Bean Casserole - FatFree Vegan

Pumpkin Pancakes - Chocolate Covered Katie

Raw Vegan Pumpkin Pie - This Rawsome Vegan Life

Nutty Pumpkin Chip Cookies - Happy Healthy Life

Raw Pumpkin Spice Granola - Fragrant Vanilla Cake

Pumpkin Spice Ice Cream - A Calculated Whisk

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Donuts - My Whole Food Life

My goodness....I think I've made myself hungry!! LOL! Have a blessed day, everyone...and don't forget to partake in some pumpkin goodness this Fall!!

FYI - Try to buy organic pumpkins, if you can!

A Different Type of Survival: Fighting for Equal Rights

Ok....I'm sure I'm going to lose a few of you, but this needs to be said; so, here goes. This is my "soap-box" moment about the Supreme Court's ruling, today.

Today, the Supreme Court of the United States declared that same-sex marriages are to be considered legal, in all 50 states. That's a huge victory for the LGBT community....and a huge thorn the the side for the Conservative Christian community.

I'm not taking sides, here, but I do think a few things need to be addressed. Please allow me the liberty to do so....

A brief history lesson....

The rights of the Black Community

• The Civil Rights Movement has centered around granting black people the right to be human beings. A lot of folks believe that it all started in the late 1950's, but it actually started in 1863, when President Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation.
• The NAACP (The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) was founded in 1909 by a multi-racial group of activists, in New York City.
• MAY 17, 1954 - The U.S. Supreme Court's unanimously ruled in the landmark case Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas that public school segregation was unconstitutional, and paved the way for desegregation.
• Overriding President Ronald Reagan's veto, Congress passed the Civil Rights Restoration Act (1987), which expanded the reach of nondiscrimination laws within private institutions receiving federal funds.

Thanks to people who are racist, the Black Community is still fighting for certain rights.

The rights of Women

• On Election Day in 1920, millions of American women exercised their right to vote for the first time. It took activists, and reformers, nearly 100 years to win that right!
• In 1971, women won the right to practice Law.
• On September 13, 1994, The Violence Against Women Act was signed by President Bill Clinton. This law makes programs and services such as protections for victims who are evicted from their homes because of events related to domestic violence or stalking, funding for rape crisis centers and hotlines, and legal aid for survivors of domestic violence.
• In 1981, President Ronald Reagan appointed the first woman, Sandra Day O'Connor, to the U.S. Supreme Court. Ruth Bader Ginsburg followed her to the nation’s highest bench in 1993.

Women have been actively seeking equality for many, many years...and we are still fighting for our rights to equal pay for equal work, adequate (paid) maternity leave, reproductive rights, etc.

I saw this video today....before the news of the Gay Marriage ruling hit the internet. It's relevant to what I've just stated:

And here is a brief history lesson, concerning today's ruling.......

The rights of the LGBT Community

• The Society for Human Rights was founded in 1924; this was the USA's first known gay rights organization.
• In 1962, Illinois became the first state to decriminalize homosexual acts between consenting adults in public.
• In 1992, the “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” policy was instituted for the U.S. military, permitting gays to serve in the military, but banning homosexual activity.
• And today....legally denying a same-sex couple the basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness afforded to heterosexual couples is no longer allowed.

Certain groups of people have been fighting for the right to live their lives the way they see fit, for a very long time....and, although, there have seen tremendous victories, in their battles, the war wages on.

As I've read the articles that are flooding my News Feed on Facebook, concerning the SCOTUS ruling, I've also read a lot of comments from Christians, posting virtual coronaries after hearing about this ruling.

• "The world is going to Hell!"
• "The Bible says homosexuality is a sin, so even though it's legal, God will never bless those unions!"
• "I feel sick...what's happening to America!"

I've been leaving my own "two cents" for those folks......

To all of you who are "throwing stones", I need to caution you.....

Don't get caught up in some "holier-than-thou" attitude toward how the world operates. Jesus told us not to judge others or we would be judge by the same standard we use on them (Matthew 7:1-2); proclaiming yourself as "town crier" over the coming judgment day is still sin, in God's eyes. It's not OUR place to decide who gets punished for what....that's God's job. 

All we are to do is love people, the same as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). It's best to just judge ourselves by God's holy standards; and pray that those who don't, get right with God, before it's too late.

And, to add to that......the Bible also tells us, in Romans 12:2, that Believers are not to conform to the behaviors and customs of this world; so, my advice to you would be...

• if you're not a homosexual, don't become one
• if you're against same-sex marriages, don't attend one of their wedding ceremonies

Other than that, this ruling should be a non-issues to you since it doesn't affect your life, or your walk with God, on any level. And, if you're truly concerned with their eternal future, witness to them how making Jesus your Lord and Savior changed your life for the better, and leave the rest to God!!

Furthermore, The Golden Rule applies here...human rights are for ALL humans, not just God-fearing, Conservative Christians.

Yes, the Bible says homosexuality is a sin; but God gave human beings free will....we are to point them toward Him, but it's not our call to decide that the LGBT community doesn't deserve the same human rights we enjoy.

They are human beings, too....it should be a no-brainer, guys!!

Leave the judgmental attitudes at the cross, and let God be God in YOUR life!

Ok....I'm getting off my soap-box, now. Have a blessed day!!

Cancer Fighter Update

I saw my new Oncologist, today, and we discussed the labs from the blood work I had done, during my last appointment.

Cancer has reared its ugly head, once again. I wasn't able to do the scans, because the pain in my back was too intense; but she says, thanks to the blood work, she noticed my cancer markers are elevated; and that's a clear indicator that I'm in for another battle.

She ordered some targeted therapy drugs for me; a drug called Femara is one of them. She also wrote up a new Rx for Tramadol, so I won't be in so much pain, anymore. As for the scans, we rescheduled them, and I'm going to be under the influence of Diazepam, for that appointment. She tried to get them to agree to completely sedate me, but they're not having it; so "Plan B" is to take a tranquilizer....along with my pain meds, and muscle relaxer, right before I do the scans.

I'm praying that this time works....otherwise they'll have to sedate me. She NEEDS the scans to form a battle plan!

She also said my iron was a tad low, but it's nothing to be concerned about.

So...the cat's out of the bag, so to speak; I now know why I've been in so much pain, and have had difficulty moving around, these last few months.

Time to kick cancer's butt, again!! I WILL be cancer free, in Jesus' name, because the Bible says I'm already healed!! And I'm still holding God to his promise that this disease will not end in death.

I've got a life to live....and I intend to do exactly that!! God bless you all, for being part of my story! I can't tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you!!

Let the battle begin.....

Indeed it did...I will never give up, or give in!!

Mountains, Giants and Holy Cows

Hello, my loves....first of all I want to let you know I'm back online (finally got WiFi!); so the Blogs will be much nicer looking, now! And I've fixed the ones that didn't look so great! LOL!!

I have, officially, been a citizen of Knoxville, TN for roughly three months....I signed my lease in December 2014, and spent the holidays with my youngest daughter and granddaughter; I only began occupying my apartment, in mid-January.

Can I shoot straight with you? I have something to confess. These last three months have been a roller coaster of obstacles, excuses and weakness....a lot of "mountains", "giants" and "holy cows". I haven't been walking my mission like I should be, and I'm sorry.

While my body adjusted to life in my new city, I began to feel severe pain in my hips, and legs. At times, it seemed that my body didn't want to move, at all...just like me, my limbs are rebellious and stubborn. The obstacle I need to overcome is the pain, because it keeps me from moving. The more I move, the less pain I'll be in; right?

Well, that will only work, if I stop letting the pain keep me in my chair. Some would say I was making a mountain out of a mole hill; and at times, I would have to agree with them. Even though the pain makes it difficult to move, I can still move! My problem is, instead of telling the mountain to move out of my way, I just sat here and stared at it.

Another issue I'm currently facing is that I'm still spending cash on food....I don't yet have my food stamp card, even though I applied for that, back in February. Enter the giants....all the excuses and procrastination I could muster.

There's a Family Dollar store directly behind my building; I plan to shop there, when I need things like toilet paper, feminine supplies, and stuff for my apartment. I didn't plan on buying food there, because all the food Family Dollar sells is processed junk! However, (warning...excuse in progress!) considering the amount of pain I was dealing with, and the fact that it stopped me from exploring Knoxville, buying junk is better than starving; I can always venture out, and shop at a real grocery store, once my body feels better!! See what I did, there?

No exercise (every street is either uphill or downhill) and a plethora of junk at my disposal....enter the holy cows; otherwise known as food addiction. DiGiorno Pizza, Velveeta Shells and Cheese, BirdsEye Voila meals, Ramen noodles, Chef Boyardee, etc. I know they all look super yummy....but none of these products is healthy! Please don't eat them!! I've stopped eating them, which is why I'm writing this Blog.

I've felt the impact of re-introducing those food-like products, to my digestive system, too.....my body has been screaming at me! Steadily, the pain got worse, my bowels aren't moving like they should be, and I'm feeling depressed. I'm not getting healthy!! And, I'm terrified; I'm reversing all the hard work I've already put in, and will end up back in the Chemo Chair, if I don't get a grip and get serious about my health!!

A friend of mine is allowing me to borrow a laptop, because mine broke; this friend as also supplied me with a handful of movies, in case I get bored (before I set up my Wifi). One of the movies I've watched is Facing the Giants. If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to do so! This movie spoke to me in ways I never thought were possible.

This is one of my favorite scenes....

The conviction to do our very best (despite the mountains, giants and holy cows) is what God is looking for....and I have failed Him more times than I care to count. This scene convicted me; honestly, the whole movie convicted me....but this scene made a powerful statement to my heart.

I was texting my oldest daughter, one afternoon, and she asked me how I was doing; I told her I was disappointed in myself. I had anticipated being further along in my "new life" than I was, and had become disgusted by the fact that I had slipped back into some old habits.

The Apostle Paul said, in Romans 7:14-20, he hated that he couldn't do right by God; he always seemed to give in to his sinful nature. I keep holding on to what God told my oldest daughter, the week I was diagnosed...He said I wasn't going to die from this disease, but it was going to be used for His glory.

It is NOT my intention to make God out to be a liar! But I know, if I don't get healthy and stop this disease from destroying the rest of my body, that's exactly what will happen....I'll die from breast cancer. And I'm the only one who can stop myself from eating things that will destroy my health.

So....now that I've fallen, again.....it's time to pick myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and keep believing I will be the person God wants me to be!

I will NOT accept defeat!!

I miss you so much it hurts

It's been a year since my late husband took his life; and I still find it hard to breathe, without struggling through thoughts of what will never be, now that he's gone.

All month, I've been dealing with physical and emotional pain; I've seen in my dreams more often, this month, than I have since I was told he killed himself. I hope it gets easier to deal with, because I don't want widow's grief to swallow me up.

The two songs I mention below are break-up songs, but these particular lyrics sum up how I'm feeling....especially today.

"Make believing we're together, that I'm sheltered by your heart. But, in and outside, I've turned to water like a teardrop in your palm. And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away. It must have been love, but it's over now. It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You held my hand and then you slipped away; and I may never see your face again. So tell me how to fill the emptiness inside. Without love, what is life? And anyone who knew us both could see, we always were the better part of me.  I never wanted to be this free! All this pain.....when does it go away? Then every time I turn around, and you're nowhere to be found, I know I've got a long, long way to go before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew.....to you."

My loves, please don't ever consider suicide as an option to end your problems....it only creates more! You always have a choice; so choose to ask for help, and get beyond the depression. You are loved, more than you realize!!