Dropping the Bomb

I've been asked by Suzan St. Maur to discuss how I broke the news of my diagnosis to my children. It wasn't easy, but they made it through the initial blow.

All of my children are grown. My oldest daughter is 25 yrs old, married, and living in Alcoa, Tennessee. My son is 22, and lives in Canton, OH. And my youngest daughter is 19, and living in near Atlanta, Georgia (and she's due to give birth to my 1st Grandchild, in July!); although, she was visiting me in Alliance, OH, when I was newly diagnosed.....July 3, 2012.

I was living in Alliance, to help a niece of mine build her new business; she owns a small cafe', and has only been in business for a couple years, now. I lived above the cafe', and helped out in the kitchen and with the customers...I basically did everything she did. It was during this time that my body began to shut down...I lost all feeling from my waist to my knees, and was having difficulty moving around. And boy, was I in PAIN!!

My youngest daughter was visiting me, at this time, and I finally decided it was time to find out what was going on with my body. She helped me get dressed; and then she helped me walk down a flight of steps, and out to the bus stop. The bus driver was great, too...he put the wheelchair lift down for me, so I wouldn't have to walk up the steps to get in! The ride to the local hospital was agony!! When there's something wrong with your back, bus rides and ambulance rides are NO FUN!! LOL!

In the ER, at Alliance Community Hospital, they took x-rays and blood tests (my vitals were good). And, after a while a doctor came in and broke the news...in front of my little girl (I know...19 isn't so little, but still)!! He said he believed it was Multiple Myeloma, because the tumors he saw were attached to my vertebrae. I remained calm, but my poor daughter just about hyperventilated!

Mommy's dying??? No..."relax, honey...it's just a few 'blobs'. The doctor's will know how to get them out of me, and I'll be fine!" I didn't like having to down play what was happening, but she literally looked like she was about to have a heart attack, after the doctor revealed his findings!

I was swept away to Akron General Medical Center, because the hospital in Alliance was not equipped to deal with what I was presumed to have; Akron General has a stellar cancer team, and all the necessary equipment to properly diagnose me! My youngest daughter came with me, to Akron, as well.

More tests...x-rays, CAT Scan, MRI (not fun!), blood work, etc. The Oncologist I was assigned to is a doll (honestly, my whole team was!) He introduced himself to both of us, and talked to both of us about what he discovered; I think my daughter felt better, once she was included in on conversation. He said there were tumors all over my ribs, up and down my spine, and in my hips...but he thinks it's breast cancer. He also told me that my 5th lumbar vertebrae was all but destroyed, so I was going to need surgery to remove it.

I watched her face, as all of this was being explained to us. Her head was spinning, but the look in her eyes was what I focused on the most..."I don't care what you have to do, just don't let my Mommy die!" Watching her world crumble down around her, was harder to handle than being told I had cancer.

After all of this had settled in, she called her sister, and broke the news; my niece (owner of the cafe') told my son...he was staying at her house, at the time. They all came to the hospital to see me, too!

The looks on their faces weren't any more uplifting, than my youngest daughter's. It took me a while to get up the courage to tell everyone to stop looking at me like I'm already dead. I couldn't stand that look in their eyes...not just my children's faces, but my whole family!!

As I discussed things with my older two (two separate occasions) they became more at ease with the whole deal. I told them what the diagnosis was, and what the doctor said my treatment plan would include....surgery, chemo, and possibly radiation. I had very nice visits with all my kids!

The mammogram, and biopsy, confirmed that it was indeed Stage 4 Breast Cancer; I had a massive tumor in my left breast; and tumors of varied sizes in the lymph nodes of my left arm pit, as well as all the way down my spinal column (from my neck to my tailbone), and in my ribs and hips. And, I maintained, (to all three of my children) that they're just 'blobs' and I'll be fine. It's been 8 months, since my diagnosis....they are still just blobs, and they're almost gone!!

My children are all back in their own environments, now. My oldest daughter, while visiting me, not only prayed over me...she also prayed, privately, and received a Word from the Lord that I wasn't going to die (John 11:3-4 NIV); so, every time I update them on my progress, we do the Happy Dance, together; and give God the praise He deserves! LOL!!