Earth Day PSA

I hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend! I have a PSA (public service announcement) to share with you...

Do you celebrate Earth Day? What’s your celebration like? A great way to “celebrate” the earth is to reduce our carbon footprint. Bill Gates says we can reduce our carbon footprint by reducing the number of people who live on the planet!

In this video, you'll hear him dance his way through it by touting vaccines and "reproductive services" (aka: abortions). What???

Instead of committing global genocide, how 'bout we all work together to take care of our planet??

Here’s the plan...

• Use cleaner transport
• Walk, bike, or take public transit (or carpool) whenever possible.
• Avoid allowing your car to idle. If you'll be waiting for more than 30 seconds, turn off the engine (except in traffic).
• Don't take the drive-through (fast food junkies)....park the car and walk inside instead. Or, better yet...cook at home, and skip the fast food!
• Have your vehicle serviced regularly to keep the emission control systems operating at peak efficiency. Check your car's air filter monthly, and keep the tires adequately inflated to maximize gas mileage.
• Driving over the speed limit and excessive acceleration wastes gas (reducing mileage by up to 33%), money, and results in an unnecessarily higher carbon footprint. Slow down!!
• Combine errands to make fewer trips. Remove excess weight from your car. Use cruise control.
• Avoid short airplane trips-take a bus or train instead.
• Eat more local, organic, in-season foods.
• Plant a garden....it doesn't get more local than that!
• Shop at your local farmer's market or natural foods store. Look for local, in-season foods that haven't traveled long distances to reach you.
• Choose foods with less packaging, to reduce waste.
• Eat lower on the food chain...going meatless for just one meal a week can make a difference. Globally, it has been estimated that 18% of all greenhouse gas emissions are associated with meat consumption.
• Reduce, reuse, recycle!
• Recycle all your paper, glass, aluminum, and plastic. Don't forget electronics!
• Buy less! Replace items only when you really need to...like after they break, or stop working!!
• Compost food waste for the garden. Garbage that is not contaminated with degradable (biological) waste can be more easily recycled and sorted, and doesn't produce methane gases (a significant greenhouse gas contributor) when stored in a landfill.
• Buy recycled products, particularly those labeled "post-consumer waste."
• Adopt water-saving habits
• Take shorter, less frequent showers...this not only saves water, but it also saves the energy necessary to heat it.
• Don't use the garbage disposal...compost instead.
• Run the dishwasher and the laundry machines only when full. And, if you can, dry your clothing outside on a clothes line (this saves electricity)!
• Wash cars rarely, or better yet, take them to a carwash. Commercial carwashes use less water per wash than home washers, and they are also required to drain used water into the sewage system, rather than storm drains, which protects aquatic life.
• Avoid hosing down or power-washing your deck, walkways, or driveway.
• Regularly look for, and fix, leaks.
• Choose sustainable building materials, furnishings, and cleaning products.
• Explore green design features for your building, like passive solar heating, a rainwater catchment or grey water recycling system, and recycled materials.
• Choose efficient appliances, including low flow shower heads, faucets, toilets; also furnaces, air conditioning units, dishwashers, and refrigerators. ENERGY STAR labeled products are recognized as having superior energy efficiency.
• Choose furnishings that are second-hand, recycled, or sustainably produced.
• Plant drought tolerant plants in your garden and yard.
• Use biodegradable, non-toxic cleaning products.
• Add solar panels to the roof of your home. This costs a little more than the above options, but many providers offer financing options which minimize upfront costs. Two examples are SolarCity and SunRun. If you live in a state with a Net Metering law, you could eliminate your electricity bill, or even earn money, by selling electricity back to the grid.

Every day can be Earth Day; if everyone on the face of this wonderful planet of ours would consciously make these points a part of their everyday life, our CO2 emissions would be drastically reduced...without reducing the size of the world's population!

Have a great day, everyone...and God bless you!! oxoxox

Update Time!

I really don’t want to do this....do I have to face tomorrow? *ugh*

Sorry, everyone....I've not been in the best of moods, lately. Tomorrow was supposed to be a special day; not that I was going to celebrate it, but knowing that I can't vs not wanting to, is different. Tomorrow would have been mine and my late husband’s anniversary. Having been estranged from him, for our anniversary, last year, it would have been no big deal to treat this one like it was just another day, same as last time. But, knowing that he’s gone....I find myself wishing I could celebrate it; or just talk to him.

So, here I go again, with the sadness and anger stages of grieving. To be honest, I feel like blowing up at someone (or hitting them), just to feel some kind of release. I don’t like feeling this way...I’m generally a very mild-mannered and loving person! So, feeling this way is very uncomfortable to me....but, I don’t know what to do with it!

I even noticed, yesterday, that I had been grazing on cheese corn. I only wanted a little bit of it...just a couple handfuls; but, I ended up eating much more than I should have. It’s an old habit of mine; I was an emotional eater, for the longest time. Back in the day, any time life got a little difficult I’d reach for whatever junk food I could get, and stuff my face, until I felt better. I can’t let myself do that, anymore!!

I think one of the biggest issues I’m facing is the fact that regardless of what had broken us up, through the years, we always found our way back to each other, eventually; he and I had been “on again, off again” for 24 years. And now that he’s dead, I have to get to the point where I’m at peace with the fact that that’s not going to happen, anymore.

Father God, please help me deal with this pain...I honestly don’t want to feel this way, anymore!!

~~~~~

In other, happier, news....

My youngest daughter will be turning 21, on Saturday; we’re both very excited about that! And, not only is my granddaughter crawling, now; she has her first two teeth...the bottom front teeth have come in!! I’m a very proud Mamma and Grammy!

I love how baby girl is gnawing on my Bolthouse Farms drink bottle!
We tried to get her to put it down, but she refused to give it up! LOL!

Oh, I've also joined a fitness club, called Forever Fitness 24. I started last week, with the goal of becoming strong enough to stand for 2 hrs or more, because I’m going to see Def Leppard in August. I've been a fan of theirs for a very, very long time, and have never seen them, live; I want to enjoy the show!! Secondary goal...I’d like to be able to lose 50 lbs by then, as well....new wardrobe!! LOL!

I’ll also be taking Yoga and Zumba classes, as soon as I’m able to move a little more fluidly. Here are some of the machines I’m concentrating on....

The only CRUNCH I can handle!!

I swear, I could sit at this machine all day....I love it!!

Not looking for serious muscle...just want my arms
firm and toned.

Another one of my favorite machines!

Is it a press...or a row?? Either/or, it's working my shoulders!!

I sit this way, and turn around facing out, to do this
behind my neck, as well!

This is a LOT harder than it looks!! LOL!

My Oncologist is happy with my new fitness routine, and he said the exercise will help lower my blood pressure....it’s been a bit high, for a while now, and we’re both a bit concerned about that! I told him I refuse to take blood pressure medications, because I don’t want to be dependent on a prescription drug, for the rest of my life. He reluctantly ok’d that decision! LOL!!

There are much more healthy ways to lower blood pressure, and I intend to utilize those methods to keep mine in check.

• I don’t smoke....I don’t drink alcohol, either.
• I've changed a lot about my diet, in recent years (looking into changing it a bit more)
• I've begun a fitness routine
• I take supplements
• I don’t drink coffee that often (I prefer tea)
• I’ll be signing up for Yoga, soon (meditation and deep breathing are good measures to take in lowering your blood pressure)
• I don’t have the stress of a job at this time
• and I love listening to music!

I’m sure I’ll be just fine, without any medication! And, I’m researching natural ways to combat the blues, as well, so depression doesn't take control of me...because I truly don’t want to feel this sad and lonely, anymore!!

Stay healthy, and happy....and have a blessed day!! oxoxox

The Savvy Survivor - A New Chapter

First, I want to thank all of you for your love, prayers and support, since I announced the death of my estranged husband. It has, truly, meant a lot to me! One of my Twitter fans even said, as an encouragement, that now is the time for me to prove my title...The Savvy Survivor.

Typically, when I hit the emotional wall, like this, I would resort to binge eating, drinking alcohol, or smoking to cope with my nerves. I can’t do either of those, anymore...because they would do more harm, than good. So, I need to find another way to cope with this massive roller coaster of emotions I find myself on, at this time. A niece of mine, whom I’m very close to, suggested I vent in the form of a blog.

So, until I can function, again, as a normal human being, this blog will contain entries full of despair, confusion, grief, and anger, from time to time. Please bear with me, my loves...I pray I can breathe again, soon!

I met James two years out of high school...we had gone to the same high school, but ran with different crowds. The day we officially met, there was a connection almost immediately. And, even back then, we had some obstacles to overcome; he was often times, moody and distant, and I never could figure out why. The reasons he’d give me never made sense.

We broke up more times, during the 24 years we knew each other, than I can count! And, the only breakup that was my idea was the one that led to our divorce, back when our kids were little; the darkness he had allowed himself to get swallowed up by, had caused him to become violent, and I was genuinely afraid for me and the kids. I had no choice, but to leave.

Hardly anyone I know (family and friends), was able to understand why I kept getting back together with him...and our getting re-married blew everyone away! Some people even called me a fool. My family didn't like him, all that much, because of the way he treated me, when the darkness rolled in; what they still don’t understand, is that I knew him well enough to know the “asshole” behavior (pardon my use of terms) wasn't his fault...it wasn't intentional. I may have been the only one who could see that.

What was James' fault, was that he never sought help for this mental disease (I believe he was bipolar). He didn't want to be labeled “crazy”, so he never got tested for depression, or bipolar disorder, or anything of that nature. The only disease he got help for, was diabetes...it was a physical illness, not a mental one.

After we separated, this time, I found myself getting caught up in all the negative energy a few of my family members were sending out; he was being accused of plotting and scheming against me, and I joined in. How else would they see it, when James had convinced me to sign away the remaining child support he owed me, and then we fell apart (again)? I even questioned whether or not he ever loved me, at all....verbally, in an e-mail to him. And now, I wish I could tell him I know the truth; after speaking with a long-time friend of his, I know now, he really did love me. I'm sorry, I couldn't see it, then.

Why is it that we never really know someone, until after they’re gone?? I also found out from a conversation with my youngest daughter after she had contacted James' mother, he only abandoned me, when I told him I was diagnosed with breast cancer, because he didn't believe me...he and I weren't on good terms, at the time. I wish I had known that, then...I would have sent him my medical file.

If I could go back in time, to the day we met, and do it all again...I would. The only thing I would do differently is insist that he get help for his mental distress, and get on medication to control it, once I saw that breaking up had become a habit.

Knowing (now) how much he loved me, I could have shown him some tough love and not taken him back, until he got help....we would have avoided getting divorced, in the first place, if I had insisted back then. I’m sure it would have helped.

When it was good between me and James, it was SOOO good; but, when it was bad...it was just easier to hate each other. The emotional roller coaster he and I had been on, all those years, took its toll on our relationship, in the end. I know he loved me, as much as I loved him; but, the darkness that kept swallowing him up, always managed to build a wall between us. Until now, no matter how many time the darkness came between us, we managed to dig through the wall, and find our way back to each other.

This time, the darkness won.

And now, I find myself experiencing emotions I never knew I had; and ones I don’t want to feel! This morning, on my personal Facebook page, I made this statement, as if I were talking to James...

“It's been a week, since you took your life; and, even though, we weren't speaking to each other, I found a certain sense of peace knowing you were still out there....somewhere....being angry at me. What am I going to do, now??”

I’m lonely, and distressed; I feel empty and incomplete...angry, lost, guilty. And, I’m experiencing all of these emotions, and more, all at the same time; it’s dizzying! I saw a picture of James, from back in high school (senior photo), yesterday, and felt like I got punched in the gut!

I’m trying hard to focus on the good times James and I shared; but then I end up sobbing, hysterically, because the realization hits me...we’ll never have any more good times, together. Right now...I'd settle for an argument!

Father God, please help me get through this!!! Hold me in your arms, and help me to see that I will be alright, some day!!

Life Has Changed

I haven’t posted a blog in a while...I think it’s been longer than a month! Sorry about that! Here’s an update for you...

Last week, I went to Peachtree City, GA, and spent the week with my youngest daughter; I, finally, got to meet my granddaughter!! <3 It was the best week I've ever had...and I've got tons of pictures, too! Last week, I also celebrated my birthday (first birthday, officially cancer free); I’m 44 years old, now! Yay, me!!

Three generations of survivors, there! Breast cancer, a difficult pregnancy, and attempted suicide!

My birthday week was AMAZING!! I loved getting to spend time with my daughter, her boyfriend, and my granddaughter; and the boyfriend’s parents are such great people, too!! They not only picked me up, from the airport; they also dropped me off, when it was time to go home...and hugged me “good bye”! Love them!!

I have more pictures on my Facebook page (The Savvy Survivor)...including pictures of two birthday meals my daughter fixed for me! They were delish!! So was the vegan birthday cake...made from scratch!!

I was there from Monday afternoon, to Friday afternoon. Friday night, I had a strange dream, about my estranged husband (I mentioned him here); I told him he needed to be the husband he promised me he would be....his answer was, “I'm sorry; I can’t”. A few hours after I woke up, Saturday morning, I got told something that has changed my life, forever.

I was told he had taken his own life, Friday evening. Now, I understand why he told me he can’t be the husband he promised he’d be, in my dream. He had struggled with bipolar disorder (un-diagnosed), for quite a number of years; and was diabetic, as well. I’m coping with this, the best I can...we never resolved the issues that split us up. I’m also having a hard time dealing with the fact that he took his life, the day after my birthday.

My youngest daughter, and son, are his children; she's dealing with his death, much the same way I am...and, as of this post, I haven't heard back from my son.

The Bible says murder is a sin (Exodus 20:13), and killing yourself is murder. However, I am choosing to believe that God went to him, at his final breath, and he asked God for forgiveness; if that’s true, he’s in Heaven, waiting for me....and we’ll see each other, again, some day.

I made this, to honor him....

My loves, I am begging you....please don’t consider taking your own life, just because things may seem a bit difficult; suicide is not the answer, it just creates more problems!!

Talk to someone...reach out for help!! It’s there...someone will always be there to help you through the bad times! You're NOT alone!!

Thank you for your love and support; it really means a lot to me! God bless you!! oxoxox

Oh, Happy Day!!

Oh my gosh! Hey, guys.....I've got stellar news!!

Yesterday, my Oncologist told me that the results from Thursday’s PET scan (last Thursday) came back NEGATIVE!!! IT’S GONE!!! Seems that my Survival Story has reached a new level! I’m so excited... LOL!!

I can’t stop smiling, either! LOL!! And, although I won the battle...the war is not over. I have to keep in mind that I need to stay two steps ahead of this, to reduce the risk of recurrence. Lots of healthy eating, prayer, positive thoughts, and staying joyful!!

Care to join me, in a Happy Dance?? Let’s go!! LOL!

By the way...you can also find me on these social media sites; please, follow me on...

Facebook

Twitter

Pinterest





And have a blessed day!! oxoxox

Eye-Opening Wake Up Call!!

Wow....I’m speechless! I just really don’t know what to say, or where to go with this; so, I’ll just start by explaining why I’m unable to think, at this moment.

I watched a video, by The Life Regenerator, last night...and began to feel convicted. He said a lot of stuff about his own journey, and how surrendering and getting real with himself, changed his life; it was a powerful video!

And, while I was in worship, this morning, I realized where that conviction was coming from; I’m not improving my health, and I've begun to make excuses for why I do what I do, again. I know what I need to do, but I don’t do it, consistently; I've gone back to just going through the motions, and not truly holding myself accountable. Lord, empty me of me, so I can be filled with YOU!!

In my revelation, this morning, I realized that everything God had placed in my care is gone.

• My livelihood. I don’t have a job...and I’m medically not allowed to work, anymore. My source of income is a monthly Disability check, now; and it’s not all that big, either.
• My children. I’m having to repair relationships with my three children, because I wasn't the Mother they needed me to be, when I had the chance. Two of these repair jobs are coming along, slowly; but the relationship I have with my son is strained, at best. There’s a wall between us, and I can sense it every time he and I have a conversation.
• My belongings....I used to have a lot of stuff! Yes, God expects us to take care of our material possessions, as well! I don’t have much, now...the bulk of my belongings ended up in a yard sale, held by a niece of mine. What I have now, I've purchased since moving into my sister’s house.
• My health!! I neglected and abused the body He gave me to live in, so much, I almost lost that, too! And, here it is....a year and 6 months after I got diagnosed, and I still struggle with “what’s the convenient thing to do?” I've even heard myself think “I only get xx amount in food stamps; I can’t afford to go vegetarian/vegan!!” Really?? Most of what I eat, is convenience food...the very lifestyle that caused the disease, in the first place! Can I afford to die??

My sister told me, she’s not willing to alter her life to accommodate me...at first that hurt my feelings. My thought was, “I don’t EXPECT her to, but it would be nice!” Who am I kidding?? At this point, I haven’t even altered my own life to accommodate myself!! How can I want someone to do something, I’m not willing to do for myself?

I remember a conversation I had, with my Physical Therapist, a few weeks ago. I was talking to her about The Savvy Survivor Facebook page, and how difficult it is to live that persona; she understood... “You've got all the knowledge, you’re just having trouble putting it into practice!”

Yes...that’s exactly right! I’m still letting my human self dictate what happens, in my life; instead of relying on God’s wisdom, and surrendering to His will! Which seems to be the biggest stumbling block I've encountered, in my life as a Believer!

How is it that I can love God with all my heart, soul and strength...but not with my mind?? My mind is where my excuses come from; that’s where my human self still lives! The Bible says, in Luke10:27, we must “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” If I can’t love Him with everything I am (including my mind), I can’t love my neighbor as myself, either. Which means, what I teach you in my Blogs and on Facebook, loses its value...because I’m not the “Savvy Survivor” I should be!

I continue to repent, every time I realize I've screwed up; but, my apologies won’t mean a whole lot, if I keep doing the things I’m apologizing for! I’m so thankful that His mercies are new, every morning...I certainly don’t deserve mercy, but I’m grateful for it!

I don’t want to lose you!! I appreciate your support and encouragement! You've become an intimate part of my support system. But, if I don’t get my head out of my butt, it won’t take long before you won't care what I have to share with you; and I will lose you, as well. If I haven’t, already.

My Pastor once said that God isn't the type to take your income away, just because you decide not to tithe. At the time I heard this, I had just lost a job...shortly after deciding not to tithe; I had used the money for something else. Sorry, Pastor...but if God is the same yesterday, today and forever, He most certain DOES remove the things we don’t care for, properly.

And, I know, some of you are thinking “that’s pretty cruel of Him!” and you’re right....but how many of you lost things your parents gave you, when you were growing up, because you got grounded for breaking the rules?? Same principle, folks! Now, He’s not going to force us to follow the rules; but when we don’t, there are consequences.

God will make us the overseer of quite a bit, while we’re here, on earth...but it doesn't take much for Him to remove those responsibilities from us, when we fail to take them seriously.

I stand (figuratively speaking) before you, a broken and defeated human; but, I'm wide awake, now. I ask you to forgive my hypocrisy, and my failures. This “SavvySurvivor” will become the leader God has commissioned her to be, one way or another!! Please be patient with me, as I humbly begin the journey back to myself. I have a hard battle ahead of me...regaining control of my thoughts; but, if I am to be the person God made me to be, I better get real with myself!

Be on the lookout for changes in me, my loves! The Bible says you know a true Believer by the fruit they bear (Matthew 7:15-20). In other words, I should be living the life I preach about, and showing you the benefits of that lifestyle.

I will keep you informed, as my body and mind line up with what God expects of me. As a Child of the Most High God, it is my responsibility to properly care for the body He gave me to live in, on earth.

And so....it begins. (again)

God, please help me learn this one!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Well, we made it to another year...welcome to 2014, everybody!!

When I woke up, this morning, I had a wonderful thought that started with Revelation 21:5; for those of you who are not very familiar with the Bible, click on the link and you'll see what that reference is about. And, as I watch the sun rise, I also see that it's snowing...very gently, but steady. New Year's snow!

Today marks the first day of the rest of our lives, folks! It is the first page of a 365 page book, that is a story only we can write. Never let anyone else hold the pen, while you write your life story, this year! Take chances...live your dreams!

I'm starting to sound like a Hallmark card! LOL!! My point is, don't let anything stop you from doing what you feel, in your heart, you need to do....whatever is it; now, if it's something dangerous, please be careful doing it. But, if you know you'll regret it, if you don't follow through, then I encourage you to take the bull by the horns, and go for it!!

Live!!

I would love to hear what some of these "go for it" moments will be, as you live out this new year! Please leave a comment and let me know what you have on your heart to do!

One of my "go for it" moments will be to move to Knoxville, TN. If all goes well, and I get everything going in the right direction, I should be celebrating next Christmas in my new place!

Another one, is to become completely vegetarian (possibly vegan), this year. I'm aiming to go with 80% raw, 20% cooked. Because of my 2nd surgery, last summer, I had to continue eating meats, because of their higher quality protein. But, in all my research, I've learned so much about the benefits of raw fruits and veggies, and how to fight cancer naturally; I really feel, in my heart, that this is the direction I should be going in. I'll be saying "good-bye" to chemo, and "hello" to a healthier body!!

I look forward to seeing what plans you have in mind, for yourself, in the New Year!! God bless you; and have a wonderful day!

oxoxox